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Neurodivergent Fairies
Fairies and the fae have always been a deep interest of mine since as far back as I can remember. I kind of go through phases of what I’m hyperfixating on or what is most inspiring me at any moment, but I always come back to fairies. I remember when I was a kid, I was obsessed with reading fairy books, and I cried to my mom because I was convinced I didn’t belong in this reality, that I belonged in some fairy world. Looking back on everything it’s clear to me that I am neurodivergent, although what flavor I am not sure. I know I have OCD, and almost certainly ADHD, but I have also thought for several years that I am autistic. I don’t really broadcast that because I am not formally diagnosed, and I don’t feel like dealing with people’s opinions on the matter. I also don’t feel the need to get diagnosed; I am comfortable being more or less open about being neurodivergent.
middle school me dressed as an elven knight for halloween.
I felt really cool and badass in this costume,
which you can totally tell from my seemingly glum expression.
It’s generally thought that in folklore, changelings were an explanation for neurodivergent children. They are odd, frown when they should smile and smile when they should frown, laugh at inappropriate times, and cause mischief. I find the fae world comforting, and I think in some ways it’s a way to deal with the shame and woe that comes from struggling to act “normal” in a world that does not react kindly to anything out of the norm. In the fae world, anything goes. If you want to wear a gown of moss and sticks in your hair and act like a freak, that’s welcome.
a very cool book cover.
Currently, I am once again deep in my fairy hyperfixation, and I’ve been re-reading some of Holly Black’s books. Usually I return to her fairy books when I’m in a reading slump and need something easy and comforting to read, since they are young adult. I remember when I discovered her books - I can’t remember if I first read Tithe or Valiant - but I checked them out from my library. Not to be dramatic but, nothing was ever the same. Middle school me was instantly obsessed with this gritty, modern-day fairy world, full of hot elven knights with long white hair, green pixie changelings, trolls under the Brooklyn bridge, and cool goth runaway teens with shaved heads. I was OBSESSED. Also, shout-out to Black for always including queer and POC characters. I’m reading her more recent “Folk of the Air” series at the moment; I’d read the first 3 books several times, but not the newer ones. They’re really entertaining and richly written for young adult books. Also, Black has permanent elf ear mods which is super cool.
a page from Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzis' "Spiderwick Field Guide".
Anyway, to my earlier point about fae and changelings, I also think of fairies as inherently queer, trans, and genderfluid. I mean, fairies are definitely queer. They don’t subscribe to earthly “morals” and therefore have no discomfort around who they’re attracted to. And gender? I mean, so many fairies are of an ambiguous gender. And visually, fae range from the “beautiful” to the “grotesque,” yet all is of beauty in their world, as it is in nature. So in this way, I also find comfort in the fae. Being non-binary seems to perfectly make sense for a fairy.
I don’t really know how to wrap up this rambling post, but my current project for the next few months is going to be making a Deet cosplay from the Dark Crystal, and in particular, I’m going to make a set of wings which I can then (hopefully) use for other costumes and the ren faire. And maybe make more wings! If all goes well.
gentle Deet...
Ok, bye ya’ll.
Fairies and the fae have always been a deep interest of mine since as far back as I can remember. I kind of go through phases of what I’m hyperfixating on or what is most inspiring me at any moment, but I always come back to fairies. I remember when I was a kid, I was obsessed with reading fairy books, and I cried to my mom because I was convinced I didn’t belong in this reality, that I belonged in some fairy world. Looking back on everything it’s clear to me that I am neurodivergent, although what flavor I am not sure. I know I have OCD, and almost certainly ADHD, but I have also thought for several years that I am autistic. I don’t really broadcast that because I am not formally diagnosed, and I don’t feel like dealing with people’s opinions on the matter. I also don’t feel the need to get diagnosed; I am comfortable being more or less open about being neurodivergent.
middle school me dressed as an elven knight for halloween.
I felt really cool and badass in this costume,
which you can totally tell from my seemingly glum expression.
It’s generally thought that in folklore, changelings were an explanation for neurodivergent children. They are odd, frown when they should smile and smile when they should frown, laugh at inappropriate times, and cause mischief. I find the fae world comforting, and I think in some ways it’s a way to deal with the shame and woe that comes from struggling to act “normal” in a world that does not react kindly to anything out of the norm. In the fae world, anything goes. If you want to wear a gown of moss and sticks in your hair and act like a freak, that’s welcome.
a very cool book cover.
Currently, I am once again deep in my fairy hyperfixation, and I’ve been re-reading some of Holly Black’s books. Usually I return to her fairy books when I’m in a reading slump and need something easy and comforting to read, since they are young adult. I remember when I discovered her books - I can’t remember if I first read Tithe or Valiant - but I checked them out from my library. Not to be dramatic but, nothing was ever the same. Middle school me was instantly obsessed with this gritty, modern-day fairy world, full of hot elven knights with long white hair, green pixie changelings, trolls under the Brooklyn bridge, and cool goth runaway teens with shaved heads. I was OBSESSED. Also, shout-out to Black for always including queer and POC characters. I’m reading her more recent “Folk of the Air” series at the moment; I’d read the first 3 books several times, but not the newer ones. They’re really entertaining and richly written for young adult books. Also, Black has permanent elf ear mods which is super cool.
a page from Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzis' "Spiderwick Field Guide".
Anyway, to my earlier point about fae and changelings, I also think of fairies as inherently queer, trans, and genderfluid. I mean, fairies are definitely queer. They don’t subscribe to earthly “morals” and therefore have no discomfort around who they’re attracted to. And gender? I mean, so many fairies are of an ambiguous gender. And visually, fae range from the “beautiful” to the “grotesque,” yet all is of beauty in their world, as it is in nature. So in this way, I also find comfort in the fae. Being non-binary seems to perfectly make sense for a fairy.
I don’t really know how to wrap up this rambling post, but my current project for the next few months is going to be making a Deet cosplay from the Dark Crystal, and in particular, I’m going to make a set of wings which I can then (hopefully) use for other costumes and the ren faire. And maybe make more wings! If all goes well.
gentle Deet...
Ok, bye ya’ll.