go back
A Wintery Update…
As much as I love fantasy, I want to live in reality and try not to delude myself as much as possible. My country (the US) is founded upon imperialism and genocide. I am scared of the escalation of recent events. But for POC this is nothing new. Now fascism is just fully out in the open, being justified right before our eyes. And with social media, we are better able to see (in real time) the atrocities committed. January is already a desolate and depressing time. I am tired of hateful people always running the show. I am tired of empathy and love being disregarded in this world, when it is a gift and what is needed most.
When I am feeling disheartened, I ground myself by thinking of the natural beauty of the earth and animals. As crazy as things seem, water is still flowing, and trees are still growing (for now, at least), and I am privileged to experience it. I try to tap into my child-self, who felt emotions - sadness, joy, anger, and passion for the things I loved, without shame.
Thoughts of spring and summer are keeping me going right now, and I am making a promise to myself to truly find joy in all that my city has to offer me, instead of denying myself like I have done the past few years. I want to go to the beach as much as possible, ride my bike, lay in the sun in the park, go to the public pool. I am thankful to be living in my city of nyc, for almost 15 years. I am thankful for my communities, and my neighbors, made up of immigrants and people from all walks of life.
Lately, I have been thinking too about the link between the rise of AI and fascism. I would say 90% of all ads I see now, on streaming services and the subway, are for AI products. Personally, I do not use any kind of AI products knowingly or willingly, although I am aware that most search engines and social media platforms utilize them now. It bothers me that most of my classmates use it constantly, for everything, although I understand their reasoning. I am not exactly hopeful about the immediate future. I think most people will choose what is easiest, regardless of the damage to the environment, and I cannot control other people. For myself, I will continue to do my small part to resist, because it matters to me.
The latter half of 2025 brought many good changes to my life. I quit my WFH job that was making me miserable, took on more classes in massage therapy school, and went back to working retail part-time. I am trying not to get too caught up in worrying over the details, and to just keep moving ahead. It feels impossible to try and live in the present but I am doing my best.
I doubt I will be too much more active on here, but much love to the neocities community and all the little worlds you all create. <3
me as a kid, walking on rocks in a river sunbeam in NC
As much as I love fantasy, I want to live in reality and try not to delude myself as much as possible. My country (the US) is founded upon imperialism and genocide. I am scared of the escalation of recent events. But for POC this is nothing new. Now fascism is just fully out in the open, being justified right before our eyes. And with social media, we are better able to see (in real time) the atrocities committed. January is already a desolate and depressing time. I am tired of hateful people always running the show. I am tired of empathy and love being disregarded in this world, when it is a gift and what is needed most.
When I am feeling disheartened, I ground myself by thinking of the natural beauty of the earth and animals. As crazy as things seem, water is still flowing, and trees are still growing (for now, at least), and I am privileged to experience it. I try to tap into my child-self, who felt emotions - sadness, joy, anger, and passion for the things I loved, without shame.
Thoughts of spring and summer are keeping me going right now, and I am making a promise to myself to truly find joy in all that my city has to offer me, instead of denying myself like I have done the past few years. I want to go to the beach as much as possible, ride my bike, lay in the sun in the park, go to the public pool. I am thankful to be living in my city of nyc, for almost 15 years. I am thankful for my communities, and my neighbors, made up of immigrants and people from all walks of life.
Lately, I have been thinking too about the link between the rise of AI and fascism. I would say 90% of all ads I see now, on streaming services and the subway, are for AI products. Personally, I do not use any kind of AI products knowingly or willingly, although I am aware that most search engines and social media platforms utilize them now. It bothers me that most of my classmates use it constantly, for everything, although I understand their reasoning. I am not exactly hopeful about the immediate future. I think most people will choose what is easiest, regardless of the damage to the environment, and I cannot control other people. For myself, I will continue to do my small part to resist, because it matters to me.
The latter half of 2025 brought many good changes to my life. I quit my WFH job that was making me miserable, took on more classes in massage therapy school, and went back to working retail part-time. I am trying not to get too caught up in worrying over the details, and to just keep moving ahead. It feels impossible to try and live in the present but I am doing my best.
I doubt I will be too much more active on here, but much love to the neocities community and all the little worlds you all create. <3
me as a kid, walking on rocks in a river sunbeam in NC